Next year my youngest son will begin high school. It signals a fresh start in academics, athletics and social connections. He will be joining his older brother there and frankly, there is only one thing on my mind.
Doritos.
I have been waiting patiently his whole little life for this moment in time. My long-legged long-winded child caused many moments of long-suffering over the years, but itās about to all pay off.
One personās trash is another personās treasureā¦and so we plan to take this kidās ADHD and cash in.
We never had a teacher call him out on his excitability. His report card notes include āA joy to have in classā right next to āNeeds to work on focus.ā They are always torn: yes, he speaks out before raising his hand, but also he sits in front and is actually happy to be there.
He was never actually ādiagnosedā. I think a growing boy is naturally full of jumping beans.
This one just came with extras, is all.
He can control them if he limits his sweet tooth. We donāt keep sodas, chips, candy, etc stocked in the kitchen. We stick to meat and potatoes with occasional sides of pintos and whatever a family of seven can afford that doesnāt include Pop Tarts.
However, there is never a lack of sweets and artificial substances when youāre a man about town. He can swap for them during school lunchtime or chow down during a church potluck or casually join in the Cola Brigade at a friendās house.
We never made a big deal out of it for fear it would actually become a big deal.
But surely there is a time to educate a child on his strengths and weaknesses.
āSon, you canāt eat a huge piece of chocolate layer cake right before church and expect to stay in your seat for the next hour. Itās not physically possible. I know little Billy can, but your body is unique and thatās how it responds when you eat certain things. Pay attention. Your teacher called me in to discuss your complete abandon of focus during her social studies class. That class is right after lunch. What are you packing in your lunch?ā
Only four packs of gummy fruit snacks, a fist full of tortilla chips, juice boxes, and a chocolate chip granola bar.
āWhere are the yogurt, cheese, sandwich, peanut butter and veggie bits?ā
āMom, nobody will trade for those.ā
He was on a road trip with a favorite aunt. She gave him a generous bag of Doritos.
Ten minutes later, she pulled into a rest stop and waited while he ran laps around the facilities for a half hour until they wore off.
I say things to him like, āWhat in the world was that all about?
What did you eat?
Gasp!
Did you actually just drink a Mountain Dew?!ā
āMom,ā he says, shaking his head sadly, āI just do what the soda tells me to.ā
Well, we are done fighting it. Done. We are about to turn a weak spot into his secret weapon.
He will finally be joining his big brotherās high school cross country team. His big brother runs like a well oiled machine. He runs with his head. He uses strategy and training and discipline.
But this other kid of mineā¦he runs like a wild animal. He has something that simply picks him up and flings him forward into the universe. It may not be pretty, it may not be kosher, and there will be many people watching and just shaking their heads over itā¦but now this kid has a secret accelerator.
The Olympic judges a few years from now will demand drug testing.
The other runners will insist they smell something fishy.
Or is it cheesy?
The results will come inā¦.
āSir, there appears to be extremely high levels ofā¦Doritos dustā¦in his system.ā
No laws against that, eh?
I give you alot of credit for knowing what to do quicker than I did. If I could go back to the 6 kids I had for such a short time, I would indeed do things different. You only have these parts of us for a short time or so it seems afterward. You probably already know to take it one day at a time, but I’ll be looking forward to see how it turns out. You go mom!
loved your story and fits what I know about youngest to a tee. You have such a love of your children that sometimes is hidden under your funny remarks. I know you are enjoying this time, the frustration and and the pleasure, remember it just does not last that long. Just seems that it does. I hope all your children stay around in San Diego for a long long time.
Love all his wiggling and jumping and crazy self… My Calbo…. Makes me smile!
I love your kids. Each one is so unique, from the calm to the active. You have raised 5 incredible kids. Can’t believe he will be in high school next year. The years have flown š