Welcome to the Father’s Day Hotline. Please listen carefully as our menu has changed.
LOL. Listen carefully? Change? You know we don’t play that. It’s your day. Do it your way.
If you are considering becoming a father, please press one.
If this is your first baby, please press two.
If you’re parenting toddlers, please press three.
If you’re parenting teenagers, please press four.
If you’re raising daughters, please press five.
If you’re raising sons, please press press six.
If you’re wondering whether or not to get a “Dad Bod”, please press seven.
For a list of things Dads never say, please press eight.
For things husbands should never say, please press nine.
For a quick supply of Dad Jokes, please press zero.
If you need a reminder that this dad gig is for life, please press the star key.
Thank you for calling the Fathers Day Hotline. Enjoy your family today. You are their Hero.