I’ve joined a 12 step program. They’re helping me to “just say no” to my substance abuse.
My name is Jolie. And I’m a tea drinker.
When I peel the plastic wrapper off the new box of tea, I have the uncanny realization that it’s also how cigarettes are packaged. Both products are made of dried leaves and both need to remain fresh until consumed.
It dawns on me as I make my third giant mug of tea.
I keep spare boxes of tea so I don’t run out. If I do, I will dash out in the middle of the night and buy some. From the only store in town that carries my brand. I can’t tell yet if it makes my life “unmanageable”. I rather think it makes my life “manageable”. But still…
“Do I have a problem?”
I’m the first tea snob on the family tree. My ancestors grew tobacco in Virginia.
Maybe I’ve just traded one crop for another.
My ancestors weren’t at the Boston Tea Party. They had the sense to be taxed without representation in order to enjoy a decent cup of tea.
But somebody’s were there…on the wrong side of the ship.
It was exactly 241 years ago today.
And I’m taking it very personally.
Can you believe they had the nerve to dump freshly arrived tea from England? What in the world?
This was not an affront to the British sovereign.
This was a declaration of war on the home front.
Wife: “Well I certainly didn’t wait the last eight months for a fresh cup of bona fide tea for you crazy men to just haul off in the middle of the night and DUMP IT INTO THE OCEAN!!”
Hubby: “My dear, it’s time to show England we mean business. Get your priorities straight!”
Wife: “You were dressed as a Mohawk. Why couldn’t you just bring the tea here? Who would know?”
Wife (feeling weak. she sits down): “45 tons of tea. TONS. of. tea.”
Hubby: “But darling, this was a political statement. We’re the Sons of Liberty!”
Wife: “Oh yeah? Well here’s MY statement: why don’t you just jump in there and fish some tea out of that harbor because it is stinking COLD where we live and if I don’t get a proper cup of tea soon, you’ll be dumped overboard yourself!!”
The hubby walks off to get his priorities straight, and the desperate housewife thinks to herself, “What can I turn into tea around here?”
And the hookah is born.
Let’s see….Step 1….