Pisa, Italy: Don’t Mess

Q: If your train departs Florence at 9:30am and arrives in Pisa at 10:30am and your second train departs Pisa at 1:40pm, how much time do you have in Pisa?

A: Plenty, if Hubby will just stop fretting.

Q: If you exit the train in Pisa and it takes ten minutes to run in a circle looking for the baggage lockers and another twenty minutes to deposit said luggage into said lockers, and another twenty to walk the length of Pisa to the leaning tower (thankfully, without your luggage), how much time do you have in Pisa?

A: Plenty, if Hubby will just stop fretting.

Q: If Hubby has tasked you with navigating the fastest way through Pisa to the leaning tower and you have located a short cut that NO OTHER TOURISTS appear to be taking, should you guide him that way?

A: No. Hubby will lose his mind. Place him squarely in the center of the lost tourists and let him work his way to the front of them so that he feels like he is making good time.

Q: Once you have located your leaning tower, should you take a dorky tourist photo of Hubby holding it up?

A: Yes. This is a good use of your time.

Q: You have a timed entry ticket for the leaning tower and must arrive by 11:45am. You have already placed Hubby’s manly fanny-pack into the security lockers nearby (aka: cloakroom). It’s 11:45am. Should you get in line?

A: No. Your tiny 3×5 purse is NOT ALLOWED in the tower. It is considered armed and dangerous. You must dash back to the line at the security lockers nearby and leave it there, too. Camera phone included.

Q: It is now high noon. You have been scanned by high security airport personnel, patted down, and watched closely by rifle-toting military dudes. Can you finally act hot and bothered?

A: No. This tower is all the fame Pisa has and they are not about to let some tourist like you tip it all the way over. They will take the key and lock you up.

Q: Is the climb worth it?

A: Yes, it’s all fun and games until you reach the top where the tilt is strongest. Galileo himself hung off the edge and experimented with the velocity of falling objects. Stop looking at Hubby like that.

Q: Now that you have accomplished your climb and retrieved your effects, do you have enough time to tour the Baptistry and Cathedral?

A: No. Your ticket is no good for the Baptistry. You can take a quick dash through the Cathedral if you will just stop taking so many pictures, because – this is true everywhere – church is free.

Q: Fine. I didn’t want to see it anyhow. If you ask me…the Baptistry is leaning too. Or maybe I am leaning. Is everyone leaning?

A: No. Just the Baptistry. We are sorry you noticed….

Q: If your train leaves Pisa at 1:40pm and it’s 1:15pm, did you have enough time to return to the train station, retrieve your luggage, locate your platform, and sit around people-watching?

A: Of course. Have a snack. You will be at the beach tonight and Hubby will take all of his frets and throw them into the sea. You’re welcome. Thank you for visiting and have a nice day.

(If you know my Hubby, you know he is a creative engineer. His brain works like a Rubik’s Cube combined with Mastermind and Statego. He had decided – through sheer will power – that the Italian train system was not going to throw a wrench into our stop in Pisa. He was in it to win it…)

 

Boom.

There is a moat around the tower.

Of course.

An intricate crown; Pisa baptistry.

Pretty, Pisa cathedral In the cathedral.

I don’t know who they are, but only two had any faith in us.