Putting the “Pro” in Procrastination

Today I’m changing my “To Do” list into a “Ta Da!” list, one brutal step at a time.

You can’t rush progress. You have to tease it out, like hair tangles.

Hubby and I have these lists, and they morph constantly.

Sometimes I will add one to his, just to get it off mine.

We’ve lived in our new house for two years now and I look back at our original “lists”, the ones we made during escrow, of what we’d do to this place once we got our hands on it.

There are a great many items still pending, and I can never decide if I should laugh or cry over them.

Home decorating was never my forte.

I know what I like, I just can’t seem to invest the hours necessary to locate it. And then, of course, the price has to be right. I save all the receipts in case we get half way through the “vision” and realize only Genghis Khan would decorate a home like this.

Return everything, go back to square one, and take another six months to “reimagine” the room.

You can’t go wrong with a few big houseplants.  They disguise the fact that I have not yet painted the walls. Do you know how many shades of “white” exist?

If you fill the house with enough people, you hardly even notice the worn carpets.

In the meantime, there is one little project that consistently pops up, especially when we have a mob of teenagers over for a pool party.

The deck off the second-floor kitchen does not connect to the yard below. To get from the kitchen (food) to the pool (fun) you tramp down the stairs in the middle of the house and out through a connecting bathroom.

With wet dripping feet carrying a second round of chili dogs and pitchers of lemonade.

Maybe it will make it out of the house, maybe it will leave a trail. I can’t watch.

How many Hubbies does it take to screw in a staircase?

Only one.

But first he will need to draw up a plan. To draw up a plan, he must survey the property using complicated instruments and document his data into a new (yet un-purchased) AutoCAD program. Said program will require a (recently purchased and un-loved) seriously expensive laptop.

Once he has plans, they must be approved by the HOA, City Hall, and the FBI.

They will be elaborate, involving doubling the size of our deck, integrating an under-deck BBQ lounge, adding a fire pit, and putting another set of French doors where our dining room windows are. The actual stairs, of course, will curve dramatically along the bank and down under the trees.

I want to mark a red “X” over this list item and replace it with: “Install slide”.

Just get these teens out of my kitchen, pronto.

Our home has it’s original 25 year old roof. At the moment, it doesn’t leak, but every good engineer type will inform you that it’s on borrowed time.

We set aside a fund during escrow labeled “New Roof”.

It’s been sitting in the bank just waiting for the green light.

Apparently, one does not simply install a “new roof”. No.

One must evaluate all possible uses for this event. This is the opportunity to install canned lighting in some of the rooms. We may want to put in an additional skylight here and there. Let’s not forget our list item to “get solar panels”. You really want to coordinate this properly.

In preparation for this vaguely imminent list item, Hubby has acquired 300 free roof tiles from the roof of a neighbor who was…getting a new roof installed. It was a ‘good deal’.

“You should always have some spare tiles for a job like this,” says Hubby, “just in case.”

Every one of our neighbors have monthly home improvements done: new landscaping, new paint, new appliances, new windows.

It could be that they have been “fixin’ to get to it” for the last ten years.

They would hardly be professional unless they did.

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