Feeding Spam to My Ferrets

I love my job. I mean LOVE. I snack on words at tea time. I shake them in a bag like dice and see what they form when they roll out. People send me words and I’m as excited as a kid at Christmas to read them. My collection of greeting cards fills more than one box and when I’m down I pull one out at random and feel the love.

Words. The gift that keeps on giving.

But when I want a laugh, a good deep belly laugh, I pull up my spam emails and feed them to my ferrets.

It is my pleasure to communicate with you via this platform. Your positive regards towards this very message will be appreciated, please do not regard this email as one of the common unsolicited email or false business invitation in the world today. I am fully convinced that you will really be of help as a new friend and business partner. I hope my message to you will be given proper attention despite the fact we have not seen or even meet each other before. knowing fully well it takes a minute, an hour or even a day to know somebody and also establish an everlasting relationship with truth and honesty between you and I without cheat, lie or sabotage the business project. My lawyer will prepare a good memorandum of Understanding to facilitate the success of this project in-line with law of your country of origin. I can assure you the success of the business transaction if you can keep it top secret. Humbly indicate your full name, Contact address and contact number while replying my proposal.

Hello my loved one! I wish to say that this post is amazing, nice written and include approximately all significant infos. I would like to see more posts like this.

certainly like your website but you need to test the spelling on several of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I to find it very bothersome to tell the truth then again I will definitely come again again.

The subsequent time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as a lot as this one. I imply, I do know it was my choice to learn, however I actually thought youd have something attention-grabbing to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about one thing that you might repair in case you werent too busy on the lookout for attention.

It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d most certainly donate to this fantastic blog! I suppose for now i’ll settle for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to new updates and will share this website with my Facebook group. Chat soon!

Thanks for the tips you discuss through this blog. In addition, several young women who become pregnant don’t even try and get health insurance because they dread they probably would not qualify. Although some states right now require that insurers supply coverage no matter what about the pre-existing conditions.

We are approaching a future of a one-world cashless society in which they will mandate us to have an RFID microchip implanted in our body. This chip will contain all our personal information and we will lose much more of our privacy because of the tracking capabilities. More importantly, did you know that this was all prophesied almost 2000 years ago by a man named Jesus? Don’t believe me? Keep reading…This may be the most important thing you will ever read.

Was it ever. Went on for pages and repeated in several languages. But he could have spared the space and just beeped the info via satellite into my microchip.

Knowing fully well it takes a minute, an hour or even a day to know somebody and also establish an everlasting relationship with truth and honesty, I know I can count on you to stick around when I do a bunch of whining about one thing that I might repair if I weren’t so busy looking for attention.

You’re the best.

And it is my pleasure to communicate with you via this platform.

Spam I Am

There are some amazing perks that come with the blog life.

Staring out the window, swirling tea in a mug while begging inspiration to hit is one.

But also, there is fan mail.  So many world-wide celebrities attempt to hop aboard my blog-train that it’s hard to decide when to slam the door. Here is one of my top contenders; an athlete from Taiwan whose enthusiasm makes me – almost – want to pick up the phone and call.

____________________________________________________________

Dear Sir,

Truly passionate regarding cycling, I decided to devote myself in this business.

My inner world is pleasant and confident when I was sitting on the cycling.

My destination is not to make lots of wealth via the cycling; nevertheless, I want to influence the joy of everyone around me when riding the bike.

In my teenager, I was fascinated of the bicycles. So I disciplined myself to take challenges and training. From an amateur player to the professional player, by participating the countless downhill matches. Finally, I was being selected as the national representative of Taiwan to win honor for my country. 

You never stand on the podium just because GOOD LUCK.

Cause of fate, I quitted the industrial engineer and starting the sales job in my expert domain cycling. I could come up with the solutions for the customer in an extremely efficient way based on my working experience and my profession.

There’s one formula of success to obey which is never giving up and keeping hard-working. I realize the sportsman spirit thoroughly in my business, so there’s always room to improve. We never stand still; we never stay at our comfort zone! We are positive a trustworthy partner for you and also being your reliable consultant expert because we treat every customer by heart.

The consumer behavior changes rapidly day by day thanks to the Smart Phone and the Internet.

No matter how smaller your orders are, you are always our customer!

We are able to assist you to synthesize your driblet orders to achieve the best buy in price. Once our suppliers got out-of-season items to sale, we will notice you in the very same time. Due to the complexity and the numerousness of the products that we offer, we hardly to offer you every single piece quotation. So just send us the notice of your interest, we will come up with the quotation for you as soon as possible. You only need to contact us through a call or simply reply this email, we are eager to serve you already. If there’s further question, please let us know.

We are your long-term trustworthy partner now and forever.

___________________________________________________________________________

This level of writing is worth crashing your laptop for.

Spammer, you’re awesome. Your passion while sitting on the cycling is only matched by your eagerness to influence the joy of everyone around you.

You have inspired me to quitted my lucrative day job and starting the sales job in my expert domain writing. I expect you to synthesize my driblet orders because, frankly, I’m not quite on board with your formula for success, as fate is clearly calling me.

But as we are now in a long-term trustworthy relationship now and forever, I am eager to make demands already.

Move over Hubby, there’s finally someone willing to treat me by heart.